It was a cycle, like the wheel hamsters run in - no matter how fast or far you run, you never get out. I got caught in it.

Now, i'm falling into a hole that's deeper than all valleys.

I don't know what there is to do to help, the only thing i can do is put the blame on me.

I have no place to go.

Goodbye my friend- braces.

I appreciate all that you've done for me and with me;
you gave me ulcers and sore teeth, but I don't blame you cause my teeth are corrected now.
I won't say i'll miss you, but I may feel naked without you as my teeth armour.
Where will I find you again?

The Unloved

watching how to train your dragon made me think Toothless was a cat-looking, winged, flying, fish-eating version of summer. I related so many things Hiccup did with it to summer. From him giving the I'm-so-innocent-don't scold-me face, to the sharing food part which Summer doesn't do, to wondering if summer will rescue me if she senses another dog attacking me.

By the way, yesterday I spent 5 minutes chasing my obedient puppy around the garden cause she cheekily jumped and got my hair tie and started playing catch! I was so scared she would swallow it, so I ran my best. And at the same time, I was so embarrassed and hoped no neighbourds were watching from their windows.

Nonetheless, just like how Hiccup told that girl to keep Toothless safe if his battle with that scary dragon ended badly, I would do that if I went overseas to study for half a decade. Summer see how much we love you? You should be grateful that you get to eat beef with every meal while other mongrels get scrap food on good days and be a good girl!!

Worry possum

Cherm and I visited SN (met lots of teachers) and then shopped the entire day from 12-6pm. Got everything I wanted, and almost everything she wanted. Even visited the facial parlour! We've never had such a fruitful trip since primary 6. So cherm says God is helping us make up for all the times when we went home empty handed.

Still, Please lock up my debit card!

Met Huishan in the queue to the shuttle bus back home from the mrt station, and thought it was so coincidental.

Boarded the bus, and there Celeste was standing on my left!!

So there we were, 3 primary 6 classmates, in 1 bus, at 1 time.

This thing called NS is quite a waste of time.

It is one of the causes of Singapore's low birth rate, so don't go blaming women for not wanting to marry cause of their better job prospects nowadays. Delay guys by 2 years, and that means logical people get married approximately 2 years later as well. Then, the women give birth to less children as they soon hit the age of 30, when they say that pregnancy has increased risks of birth defects and so on.

From a forward-looking point of view, which our government is deemed as, as I do agree on that, I think that 1 year of military training and then reservist perhaps more intense than what we have now, would be more practical than jailing the guys up for 2 whole years.

Just wait, till i become the next Prime Minister...

have fun in NS! >:/

You should love her.


Last day of work tomorrow, and although I'll be so free every weekday from next monday onwards, I realised I may be wasting time away without work.

1. Waking up late
2. Surfing the net
3. Spending money
4. Not earning money
5. Falling into a expenditure/savings deficit

And I'll miss my colleagues :(

Gave some of my submissions to them, and I hope it'll be another way that they will remember me in the next month at least (on top of the farewell notes), when they count their submissions at the end of April and think "Wow, thanks to Julia I can meet my target and earn commission!" And while they're fretting over meeting targets, I'll probably be fretting over whether I can pass my Traffic police test.

Goodbye RBS! It was an enjoyable 1 month and a week. love love love

I looooved work today. Team manager was not around, and I practically slacked the whole away, talking to colleagues, writing farewell notes to all, playing with the iPhone.

I also loved the fact that I'll be tendering my resignation letter tomorrow, although it really seems kinda wasted that we've forged those friendships with all our friendly helpful colleagues :(

At least i'll have more time for driving lessons, though. Practical test is on 31 Apr and i MUST PASS!!!

Summer is a big baby now, and i'm so proud of her. She went on her first walk last friday. I'll upload the pics another time! :)

And another baby will return home tomorrow!!!!!! Happy happy day. I love you.

Something must be wrong.

It can't be hormonal imbalance, cause I already had my period, but i've been feeling awfully gloomy and worried and frustrated. Ever since this morning when I stepped foot into the MRT on the way to work - Seeing couples showing their affection for each other, listening to "littlest things" on my iphone, watching the blackfaces from superiors at work, lousy and uncooperative clients, how i want to quit instantly but am held back by commitments to the boss etc, everything just added on to the "I AM SO FED-UP!#)@!(#*@)!@(#* corner in the emotional segment of my brain.

Everything started falling through, crashing down, since Mar 6. Everything including me.

Abel, come back from bastard brunei now! :(

After NUS open house with Abel, we lunched at Wisma together with wilson, went back and took a nap while he ironed his Smart 4, then had dinner with Iype fok shufan hiro at din tai fung (same old place) as well as grocery shopping at NTU. I then came home to Summer, who was sitting at the gate waiting for me like the loyal dog everyone yearns to own.

She's become more protective of our property, barking at strangers who walk by as though she's a german shephard when she's only a tiny little puppy, not even half the size of a full grown goldie. And she talks to the 3 shetland sheepdogs and the other Golden retriever which are a few houses away as well. Wonder if they understand her puppy talk.

Love how she walks up to you with a toy and gives you a nudge, and if you ignore her, she'll choose another toy, and then another, till you play with her.

She's really happy to see you after a day at work, and all the weariness just floats to the back of your head and makes you want to play with her till you really can't take it and fall asleep.

How lucky we are to have such a cute, sensible doggy. I'll love you forever summer baby :)

Loved today, all the people i love, i met. Except the one who was at the IT Fair. Haha see you tmrw dear :)

Nothing compares to a quiet evening alone
Just the one, two i was just counting on
That never happens
I guess I'm dreaming again
Let's be more than this

Today I met the cutest girl, about 7 years old. All little girls should be like her and the world would be so much sweeter. Innocence with a tinge of maturity- what a delight to watch. Even the way she darted her eyes and frowned a little as she ate her food was so adorable.

I've been wondering if I've ever made a decision which was wrong but never thought twice about. That's even worse than regretting having made a wrong choice.

We. Dread. Work.
We. Want. More. Fridays.

I'm sick :( just that day i was thinking about how i haven't been sick since before prelims last year. and then POOM! the next day i had a sore throat that felt like i had blades down my throat. and then the fever came the following day.. blocked nose, runny nose.. sigh. i've been sneezing alot too. but i quite enjoy sneezing, the feeling of letting everything out (air) in one big explosion.

Gonna sign the contract for our job on monday with chermk. Super good pay, like 1.5k and then commission too. Wheehee! Gotta pay dad back some portion for my iphone.

And, driving has been enjoyable, i always look forward to lessons, had about 7 lessons so far already! Test will be on 30th March and i really hope i pass the first time round! Fingers crossed.

Summer has been the cutest baby ever in my life. I enjoy watching her grow up, she's already much taller now. Hyperactive sometimes, lazy at other times, but adorable at all times. Sometimes i wish she were a baby again, tiny and light and chubby. But then i also can't wait for her to grow bigger and stop chewing at our hands cause it's so painful! But the best thing would be that she just grow up healthily and happily. The way dogs wag their tails when they're happy is so incredible. Humans hide their emotions so readily and easily. Have you seen someone frown while smiling? I think i have.

How can you say "I love you" to the same old person for four years then skip off with another within a month.

People do weird things so often, don't they?

Chinese new year has been enjoyable. I got lucky and won in Bingo 4 times in a row after almost 20 losses. So I made up for the rounds where I lost hurray!

I still love steamboat. Yummmmy!

My cousins are so cute on dad's side, and so sweet on mum's side. Wish we had gatherings more often.

For the first time, we don't have to dread going back to school after the long holiday.

Work with Cherm starts next Monday!! Can't wait to get salary hehe.

Happy vday! Better late than never. :)

It's friday :D

So baby don’t worry, you are my only. You won’t be lonely, even if the sky is falling down. You’ll be my only, no need to worry.

Playtime with Summer always leaves me all sweaty, like i ran a few rounds during PE. All goes back to how my Dad always tells me i'm not fit enough, need to jog to get fit. Point noted.

Went to Chinatown today with mum and sis for some aimless browsing just to soak up the CNY atmosphere. It was pretty quiet, not as stuffy and shove-ly as i imagined it to be. Lots of "free de" samples, i still want to eat that crunchy peanut thing!!! i only got one small little piece.

Why is my job taking so long to come#&$*)(*&$*#!@ and please tell me cherm & i can work together.

My posts nowadays are more of posts for me to remember the things i've done. Abel and i realised 2 months passed so fast, we can't even remember what we did while passing those 62 days. Time, please stop racing, we need more time before uni :/ yet another milestone in life.

And to think they say it just keeps getting better??

I've got my heart in my mouth, and your heart wrapped within mine.

NS is such a bother. It's making me feel so uneasy even though i'm not even the one going in. Anyway Abel, take care, stay safe, and may i be the light at the end of your Ns tunnel (: i love you!

Meanwhile, summer has been growing insanely quickly. That's good :D when i look at her baby pics on the first day when she came, i always get a shock and feel like holding that calm little angelic puppy who's sleeping 97% of the time in my arms again. i guess that's what parents feel when their children grow up. but they will never cease to be their cute child even when they become teens. forever their baby. but i still dont understand those who call their children "ah girl" and when she's like 30, then how???

too many things i haven't done

maybe it's cause i'm alone at home (just like how quiet it was when i was studying back then) that i feel so contemplative. but once again, time has waited for no one, and the list of "To-dos" which i started before As has yet to be touched, save for watching a movie online..

went job-hunting with charissa today, and we were about to step into bugis for lunch when mum called and said that summer was vomitting. rushed home with our empty stomachs. she's okay now.. got us all worried, poor puppy.

studying for final theory test made me feel a little more accomplished.

maybe getting a well-paying, not-so-boring job will make things better.

i still have pics since december which i haven't uploaded. i think it all adds up to about 1000. oh i'm such a lazy ass.

i'll go play with summer now, then eat dinner and then clean my room and study for ftt again!!!

best friend's dinner at Giraffe was really sweet (:

wow i feel so appreciated. totally wasted my time on something that's going to go down the drain anyway. but at least i did it with abel so its not really a waste. PS: i hope You'll have fun.

really have a craving for jap food!!!

SUMMER

the way she prances towards you and looks at you with her large doeful eyes, or how she chases her toys with so much vigour; the way she suddenly decides to skip away and bark at nothing (or something i cant see), or how she whines when you walk away from her and acts all pitiful.

Summer(right) with her brother Macho.

Loving time with Daddy

Naughty Summer

Letters

Olay and I went to the expo john little sale today! 3 hours of shopping around that freezing cold & dry place made us so tired after that our conversation became a silent one. Plus we were starving we had to buy burger king fries to share and ate it up within 10 minutes. Really missed her!

Fifteen days more till bel goes into horrible NS. Then i'll start work and life will be completely different. I dont want to grow up.. yet! On wednesday it was jonsoh's surprise birthday dinner and nette and i met at school (missed my twin!!!). I felt like going back to school again, to hang out with classmates & especially the clique, and being the young child again. It's weird not to have a goal in mind, like A levels. I may regret saying all this when uni starts and gets all hectic, but oh well!

I'll make good use of these 15 days and balance the time well between family friends and you.

I've rekindled a love for letters & cards. Those from family members, best friends, friends, other half, they make you recollect past memories and wish you could hurry back to the time when the letter/card was written. To me, letters/cards will never become passe. It's so personal and full of love that modern technology, no matter how sophisticated, can't replace.


*destined acquaintances.